Synopsis: If you're thinking, “God doesn't love me,” these 3 hopeful biblical reasons why you can be sure He does. Plus how to overcome future moments of doubt.
For ages I was convinced that God didn't love me. That he didn't care.
can you embarrass me I drowned in misery and begged Him to save me. Once I literally fell to my knees in my kitchen, crying out my distress and begging Him to help me.
What did I get for it?
It felt like he didn't answer my prayersforever.I felt rejected and unloved by Him, which broke my heart to pieces.
So you know what I did? Ifakedas if i believed that god loved me.
I went to church every Sunday and cried through praise and worship, looking like my blessings were rubbing my back. But really, I was drowning in despair.
I was desperate for soul-saving hope that maybe—only maybe,in spite of everything – he loved me.
A bit like where you are right now.
The taboo of thinking: God doesn't care about me
If you're where I've been, your belief that God doesn't love you is probably your best kept secret. So close that you don't even write about it in your diary. Because it makes you feel unfair and kind of… well, insecure.
It's like an exposed electrical outlet that you avoid at all costs, fearing it will shock you to an agonizing death.
Because everyone knows to admit out loud - or even in the darkest corner of your heart - that God doesn't love you, He will hit you and send you straight to hell. No go overtake or collect two hundred bucks.
To the right?
For years I have plagued myself with worrying that God does not love me while hiding it from every single person in my life. And yet here I stand, years later, unattached and reveling in His unconditional, unfailing love for me.
So don't worry, your secret fear that God doesn't love you is safe with me.
But let's talk about why you doubt His love in the first place and why you are dead wrong.
Why do I feel like God doesn't love me?
Suffering and tragedy affects almost everyone. Death, trauma, rejection. Name it and you can be sure it was too close to be comfortable.
But these are expected in every life and don't necessarily make you doubt God's love for you. It's the other nagging everyday things that mostly get the job done.
They burrow into your subconscious when you're not looking and take root. Before you know it, small disappointments turn into a ingrained belief that God doesn't love you.
Beneath your doubts about God's love lie one or more of 3 basic questions you want answers to.
Let's surface these questions and bring them into the open. Because if we don't address them and answer them, they will cause your feelings that God doesn't love you to solidify into an unshakable belief.
But when you expose and confront them, you take away their faith-stealing power and regain your trust in God.
1. If God loves me, why doesn't he help me?
Ah, those tiresome unanswered prayers you hurled at God. It would be one thing if the occasional desperate plea backfired to smack you in the face. But it feels like itYearssince God last bothered to answer you.
Your prayer journals bleed with your agony.
You asked God to help you; You begged Him to save you from your swamp of misery. You cried real tears while begging and pleading.
His answer? Deafening silence.
So you ask yourself: if God loves me, why can't he see that I'm hanging by a thread? Why isn't he helping me? Does God even care that I'm hurt?
The truth is that God has a lot to say about your life and what you are going through. And the first place to look for an answer is in His Word.
Every part of Scripture is God-inspired and useful in one way or another—showing us the truth, exposing our rebellion, correcting our mistakes, training us to walk God's way. Through the Word we are composed and formed for the work that God has for us.2 Timotheus 3:16-17 (MSG)
So the question is: Why don't you hear Him?
Fortunately, the answer is simple:They probably mute himin ways you don't know or don't want to acknowledge.
For example, you value other people's opinions over his, so discard what he says because it doesn't agree with what he saysShesay. Or you indulge in a secret, willful sin that makes you deaf to divine wisdom.
We'll address this issue in a minute. But first, let's address the other two elephants in the room.
Bonus:As a bonus for signing up for my weekly newsletter, you will receive this for freeHow to Pray for Faith and Trust Cheat Sheet. It gives you the prayer points to cover as you pray through doubt and uncertainty.
2. Why would God love me? I am nothing special.
If the people in your church ever got wind of your belief that God doesn't love you, they would likely squirm with unease, tell you to count your blessings, and throw Bible verses at you from their pedestals of righteousness.
Johannes 3:16would certainly end up in the mix.
But you're not sure if a particular scripture applies to you. Sure, God sent Jesus to die so that whoever professes faith in Him might be saved for eternity. But you are just one faceless woman in a crowd of 7.5 billion people.
Also, the verse says that God so lovedthe world.All of it.
It doesn't mean that God sent Jesus on a search and rescue mission specifically for you. He just came up with a general solution to cover everyone in one fell swoop.
To the right?
You measure our divine God against a worldly standard, which will never work well for you.
The truth is that God loves you unconditionally, which - great news! – does not depend on your worthiness.
We'll get to the bottom of it shortly.
3. The world hasrealproblems. Why should God care about mine?
Murder and mayhem, accidents and wanton destruction. It can feel like the world has gone mad. Five minutes of news on any given day will have you wondering what the heck is going on.
Some days it seems like the world is going to end in a blazing fireball. In comparison, it's easy to believe that God has more urgent problems on His plate than your first-world problems.
Job worries, relationship problems, and general life concerns crumble to dust alongside devastating hurricanes, plane crashes, and terrorist attacks.
So your boss is an idiot andyou hate your job. Who cares? What constitutes the constant friction between you and your partner, or that?You hate going home? Does it really matter that you're a grown woman she still hasn't found?vocation in life?
Not for God, you argue. Certainly not with thatrealproblems on His plate.
Related:Are Your Problems Important to God? The Powerful Truth
There's your worldly standard again, measuring God as if he were human. Trying to put Him within human limits.
Lay down your standard, my darling. It will only make you unhappier and reinforce your belief that God does not love you.
Let's dive into the biblical truth of why you're completely wrong about this whole thing.
But here's the thing
Any or all of these reasons are why you feel like God doesn't love you. But you still have a mustard seed of hope that he does.
I know because you are here looking for reasons to stop believing that painful thought, "God doesn't love me."
And if you didn't have that glimmer of hope, you would have given up your prayers by now.
Instead, like me when I was caught in the thornbush of doubting God's love, you keep praying because you arewantto believe that he loves you.
You want to believe that your reasons for thinking differently, no matter how logical they may seem, are somehow wrong.
You are wrong!
God loves you more than the words in any article on the internet can express.
What's more, you're not alone in feeling that God doesn't love you anymore.
Guess who felt the same way? Except for the lady in the pew next to you, who may be singing, “Oh, how he loves us!” at the top of her voice, but also sometimes doubting God's love.
My god, my god, why did you leave me? Why are you so far away when I'm moaning for help? Every day I call you my god but you don't answer. Every night I raise my voice but I find no relief.Psalm 22:1-2 (NLÜ)
say what nowDavidHave you felt that God is not answering your prayers? The same David that it wasa man after God's own heart?
And you're not unjustly amazed at why the first line of this psalm sounds so familiar. Jesus quoted it while dying on the cross.
God didn't hit David or Jesus for feeling ignored and abandoned.
So yes, your reasons for doubting His lovefeelvery real.
But what if they aren't?
What are signs that God loves you?
You've just convinced yourself that God doesn't love you because you're looking for reasons to believe it's true.
But that feels awful and — be honest now — all it gives you is more misery.
Someone once said you get what you focus on and he was right. So let's change your focus and look for reasons to believe in Godtutloving You.
But we don't want pie in the sky just because I said so, count your blessings and shut up.
Instead, let's get some solid, biblical wisdom to help you recognize God's love for you.
1. God's salvation comes at the right time.
One reason you feel like God doesn't love you is because He seems to be silent in your life. Because it feels like he never answers your prayers for help.
Related:6 Clear Signs God Is Talking To You (And You're Missing It)
But maybe he's waiting for the right time to save you.
The Lord is not really slow in His promise as some people think. No, he's patient for you. He doesn't want anyone to be destroyed, he wants everyone to repent.2. Petrus 3:9 (NLT)
You roll your eyes and think that's a blank, motivating Christianese. That the time for His salvation was 6 months ago.
I understand because I've been where you are.
But years on the other side of feeling that God didn't love me, I now look back and see the truth: He was waiting for me to need Him more than I needed what I was clinging to with a death grip.
You know, deep down I knew I had to let go of the things that were making me unhappy - mainly my adoration of other people's opinions and acceptance. But I wasn't willing to give it up.
I can admit it now: I wanted God to magically make amends with my life.
If he had extended his saving hand a minute earlier, I would certainly have pulled Lot's wife.
Remember what happened to Lot's wife! If you hold on to your life you will lose it, and if you let go of your life you will save it.Lukas 17:32-33 (NLT)
If instead you trust in God's perfect timing, take the hand he offers you, let him pull you out of your despair, and forever say sayonara to this faith-destroying deathtrap.
2. God made you special.
You must love David. He wasn't at all shy about reaching for that exposed outlet that you and I no doubt avoid for fear of God hitting us.
O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever? How long will you look away? How long must I struggle every day with torment in my soul, with sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy prevail?Psalm 13:1-2 (NLÜ)
But once he worked through his chaotic feelings—"I am a worm, not a man...I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint"—he always returned to praising God for what he was about knew it was true.
Because you created my insides; You knit me together in my mother's womb. I will praise you because I am remarkable and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, and I know it very well.Psalm 139:13-14 (CSB)
My love, you're not some cookie-cutter creature that came off the assembly line in heaven. And God doesn't look down from heaven and see a huge speck called humanity.
God handmade you.
No one makes an ordinary disposable item by hand. When something says handmade, you know it's a one-of-a-kind labor of love, specially crafted by a master. You will not find another exactly like it anywhere on earth.
You are that.
If God didn't love you, He wouldn't have made you remarkable, wonderful.
3. God takes care of your problems.
Back when I was drowning in misery in my handsome life, I had oneNegative Nellyin my inner circle telling me to soak it up and learn to be thankful.
Essentially he was telling me that I create problems where none exist. And I believed him.
what could i say He seemed right. My life looked great and I was embarrassed and ashamed of being unhappy.
But he was dead wrong.
You see your problems no matter what the most condescending person in your life saysArereal.
Of course you're grateful for your job, even though you have to struggle to get out of bed every morning. At least it keeps a roof over your head, food on your stomach and your closet adorned with the latest products from the outlet mall.
Sure, you love your partner even if you don't love how they make you feel. You are glad that you do not have to go to the cinema or to dinner alone.
Yes, you have a good life, even if it's been feeling like a scratchy, ill-fitting suit lately. At least you're keeping up with more than the Joneses.
But why is it wrong to want more from your job than a roof and groceries? Want more from your relationship than dinner? And want more out of life than what everyone else calls success?
It is not wrong.
These problems exist in your heart, which means they exist, period. And God doesn't compare them to the problems of others.
In the midst of life's calamities, God takes care of your specific problems.
How precious are your thoughts of me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can't even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand!Psalm 139:17-18a (NLÜ)
If God didn't love you, he wouldn't have countless thoughts about you.
So get rid of the thought that God doesn't care about you or your first world problems. Because — come on — what are the odds that those myriad thoughts don't include concern for every aspect of your life?
(The answer is zero if you hesitated.)
Furthermore, our God - who created this universe and countless galaxies beyond it - can surely take care of great tragedies while still taking care of your personal misery.
How to stop believing: God doesn't care about me
You know the 3 reasons why you feel like God doesn't love you:
- It looks like he's not answering your prayers and has no plans to send out a rescue team.
- You feel lost in a crowd of billions and think you are nothing special to Him.
- Your problems can't possibly be important to Him compared to what's going on in the world.
You can now also see where your reasoning – and therefore your feelings – are completely wrong.
- God's salvation comes at just the right time, even if it seems late.
- God specially handcrafted you, meaning you were uniquely made by the Master of the Universe.
- God does not compare your problems to those of others, and He takes care of everything that concerns you.
This leaves us with another problem to solve: how do you deal with your doubts when they come back?
How do you deal with it in the future if you feel that God doesn't care? What do you do when it feels like God has abandoned you?
1. Give up when you feel like God doesn't love you.
Here's the thing. God is not a self-pitying little wimp whose feelings get hurt when someone doesn't like him.
Jesus - hanging on the cross - cried out his anguish and his sense of devotion to God. You can take it as proof that it is safe to leave your doubts to Him.
I made the earth and I created man and woman to live on it. I have handcrafted the sky and direct all the constellations in their rotations.Isaiah 45:12 (MSG)
Surely our God, who did all this, is big enough and strong enough to bear the burden of your doubts.
But how do you let go of your doubts?
Surrender means you stop looking for reasons to believe that God doesn't love you. And it means you confess your feelings to Him.
All of them. Preferably loud. Just like David did.
He already knows everything about you, but you'll be relieved when you talk to Him about it.
2. Pray and praise God when you think He doesn't care.
Prayer and praise are weapons and you must use them like you will die if you don't.
Hallelujah! Praise God in his holy house of worship, praise him in the open air; Praise him for his mighty deeds, praise him for his greatness. Let every living, breathing creature praise God! Hallelujah!Psalm 150:1-2, 6 (MSG)
Use the weapons of prayer and worship as often as you must. Non-stop all day and everywhere.
God will never tire of hearing from you and He will not ignore you.
For I called upon him for help and praised him as I spoke. If I hadn't confessed the sin in my heart, the Lord wouldn't have listened. But God listened! He listened to my prayer. Praise be to God who did not ignore my prayer or withdraw his tireless love from me.Psalm 66:17-20 (NLÜ)
So if you feel like God doesn't love you 1000 times a day, pray and praise your doubts 1001 times.
3. Study something about God if you want to know if he loves you.
If you think God doesn't love you, it's time to stop relying on your feelings and go straight to the source.
'Cause here's the thing:
God is not a man to lie or act, nor a son of man to feel remorse or remorse [for what He has promised]. Did He say so and shall He not do it? Or has He spoken and shall He not do well?Numbers 11:19 pm (AMPC)
Over and beyond:
And I am convinced that nothing can separate us from God's love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries for tomorrow - not even the powers of hell can separate us from God's love. No power in heaven above or on earth below - indeed nothing in all creation will ever separate us from the love of God revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.Romans 8:38-39 (NLT)
Which answers the question, does God ever stop loving you? Through Paul, God answers with a clear NO.
- God is incapable of lying;
- He says he loves you unconditionally and unceasingly;
- But you think God doesn't love you...
Then you have to ask yourself: where is the lie in this equation?
I'm calling out to make sure you don't miss it: the lie is in your fickle feelings and thoughts that He doesn't love you.
And you must counter that lie with the truth of God's Word.
So if you feel like God doesn't love you, delve deep into His Word and absorb everything He says about His love for you.
How do I return God's love?
Furious! You managed!
You've stuck your finger in the taboo socket, faced your doubts about God's you, and here you are, unhindered.
Which is not surprising when you think about it.
Thomas doubted Jesus' resurrection, but Jesus did not slap his face and rebuke him for it.
Instead, Jesus graciously understood Thomas' doubts and helped him overcome them.
Then he said to Thomas: “Put your finger here and look at my hands. Put your hand in the wound in my side. Don't be unfaithful anymore. Believe!"Johannes 20:27 (NLT)
This is the same Thomas who later became an apostle, by all accounts evangelized in Asia, and died for the cause of Christ.
Those years of thinking God didn't love me were the most miserable of my life. I've never been so glad I was wrong when I experienced for myself how much God loves me.
The next thing I wanted to know was how to love him back.
You see, when you get God's love - when its immensity stops you - your return love feels too big to contain and you need an outlet for it.
When this happens, ask God to show you how to share His love.
Whether you are helping a single mom in your neighborhood, donating time or other resources to a charity, or starting a small group Bible study about God's boundless, unerring love, you can't go wrong.
Before you go, grab your FREEHow to Pray for Faith and Trust Cheat Sheet.
Your Action Checklist for Believing God Loves You
These days I don't pretend to believe in God's love. He has demonstrated it in countless ways, just as He is showing you.
I see these ways—although I probably miss many of them—because I'm looking for them and I've stopped looking for evidence that God doesn't love me.
You too can look for and find these signs of God's love for you.
How much do two or three pet canaries cost? small change, right? But God never overlooks a single one. And he pays even more attention to the last detail - he even counts the hairs on your head! So don't let all the bullying talk intimidate you. You're worth more than a million canaries.Lukas 12:6-7 (MSG)
Use this quick reminder checklist when you feel like God doesn't love you:
- God always answers your prayers and is never late.
- You were uniquely created by the Master of the Universe and are special to Him.
- Every single problem you have is important to God.
- Abandon your doubts about God's love for Him; He can handle it.
- Use prayer and praise as weapons against your doubt.
- Go straight to God's Word to learn what He says about loving you.